Week – 24 Wasted Emotion

I find it interesting that my life has already some how forced me to address the very subject of the next scroll or week’s assignment days before we we start it.

A couple of weeks ago we had to spend three days disconnected from social media. I thought to myself that it was going to be impossible, but then I got the flu. Once I was sick, I had no problem with it and getting on the computer was the last thing on my mind.

This month’s scroll VI talks about mastering control of our emotions. I must admit, this is a struggle of mine. I am an emotional being and my emotions often times will take over. Sometimes this can be a great strength and is where I derive a lot of my passion, creativity and vision from, but it can also be my undoing and is hard to keep in check and balanced.

I like how Og Mandino starts scroll VI out explaining,

“The tides advance; the tides recede. Winter goes and summer comes. Summer wanes and the cold increases. The sun rises; the sun sets. The moon is full; the moon is black. Birds arrive; the birds depart. Flowers bloom; flowers fade. Seeds are sown; harvests are reaped. All nature is a circle of moods and I am part of nature so, like the tides, my mood will rise; my moods will fall.”

I can certainly relate; and I’m sure that every other female who has a cycle can too. Don’t worry guys, men aren’t immune to this either. I see my husband go through a cycle of moods through out the month as well and have noticed it from bosses and co-workers in the work place also. We are part of nature and in nature everything has a cycle. I just never really considered moods to have a cycle too until now.

As a creative, it’s east to get emotionally attached to your work. Creativity it’s self is emotional, primal and taps into the sub conscious, then translates that raw energy and thought into a physical form via the artists preferred medium.

It’s a raw, powerful and enlightening moment when the divine spark flows through you. It somehow connects your conscious and sub conscious minds together in a singular moment of harmony. Once that harmony is achieved, you have reached the frequency and alignment of the universal. In the universal you are the connection that brings manifestation, the messenger of divine vision. This is why I often refer to myself as a Muse.

When you use your creativity as your business, however, that raw emotion gets more complicated and sometimes in the way when your client doesn’t see eye to eye with your concepts. When that happens, it’s easy to let your emotions take over, but now that I have learned to be mindful of my thoughts and how to become the observer, I have found it much easier to disconnect from the emotion of it.

I know that I am the expert in my field. I have the accreditation, awards and portfolio to prove it. When I speak about my genre, it is the compiled experience of the ages speaking through me and thus is truth. I know that I am honest, genuine and conduct my business with integrity. The key is to get the client on the same line of thinking as me. They must also view me as the expert and value my input, other wise they will only waste my precious time.

See more of my work at www.jade-turtle.com

In order to accomplish this, I must again become the observer. I need to know and understand my client just as much as I know and understand their business. I need to understand their personality and let them be part of the creative process. It’s great when they are excited to share and get involved. This is what every sales person wants and every Artist fears. I am both; and also a psychologist. You see, I know they need to see it their ideas come to life and it often times this gives me insight into them and their business that simply can not be attained otherwise. Some designers get frustrated and stressed at their client involvement; instead I use their excitement and involvement as an outlet for them to explore their creativity and get them emotionally attached to an idea. I find that once they get involved and agree on a concept, I am able to have more creative freedom than if I didn’t involve them in the process.This of coarse also depends on personality and moods.

When it comes down to it, all I can do is provide them with the best supporting facts to the design I created and cross my fingers that they choose the best one. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t. Either way, I’m much happier if I stay emotionally detached. I also know that there are better days than others to schedule heavy workloads based on my moods and cycles. When you step outside to become the observer, it’s easy to marvel at how mechanical it all is; every part is connected to the whole. Each doing their job to make the magic called life happen. The same is for manifestation.

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Week 23 – Falling through

As if I haven’t been through enough. What am I pretending now to know? Am I torturing myself and this is the physical manifestation of it all? These are the questions I asked myself as I vomited yet again. I haven’t been this sick in a long time, in fact, I hardly ever get sick at all, but this bug got me good. I feel like my defenses were weakened in the beginning of February just before we went to great Wolf Lodge when a virus came through the household, wiping everyone out but me.

I remained vigilant.

Then came my birthday on the 19th. I was feeling a bit off. I was stuffy and my glands were swollen. I felt as though I might be fighting a sinus infection and I experienced a day with a splitting headache, yet I still managed not to fully succumb.

However, soon after that, my daughter came home with the stomach flu.

As a parent, I didn’t know whether to stick both kids right next to her so they would all get it at once or try to keep her as quarantined as possible, which with young children is a laughable notion at best. I decided to not have an opinion and let nature take it’s course. Sure enough, Zack was the next to get it and before I knew it, so had I.

I found myself suddenly dry heaving violently. Unfortunately, this happens every time I get nauseous. It’s just something about not having a normal stomach anymore I guess. It was so loud, that it sent the kids running upstairs to see what was the matter.

Lily and Jackson came bursting into the bathroom asking, “What is that noise Mommy? Are you sick Mommy?” All I could do was nod yes and gesture for them to leave, but they were far too curious about the loud sounds I was making and why nothing was coming up. They came in for a closer look and asked many questions that I could not answer. They discussed the possibilities of what was wring among each other as I crawled back into bed.

Oh Murphy? Have you gone so low as to come and poison me in the silence of the night. I expected more from you. Did I somehow manifest this as a way to keep myself off social media for a few days as instructed in last weeks class? Is this make up for the times I have not done my sits? I am indeed more powerful than I thought. Maybe the illness is what I needed for a new perspective? What am I pretending not to know and what would the hero in my journey do next?

I know there is a lesson to be learned. This illness has forced me to so slow down, to rest. This is something I haven’t done in a long time and really needed regardless of illness or injury. In some way I was happy for it and embraced becoming the observer into my thoughts as I went through the fever, sweats and chills. I was on another journey to be the observer into the depths of my subconscious, which was now more vivid than before.

Illness is never fun, but often times it puts us in a unique mental state where we are riding the line of conscious and subconscious thought. It gives us a unique window into ourselves. Normally the conscious mind is unable to comprehend the subconscious, but in this state of illness and becoming the observer, I was able to see both and it was enlightening.

These types of things used to rule and ruin my life. They would compound and pile up until I could carry the weight no more. I am happy that I have the tools to make the best of a not great situation and am amazed at how I can see purpose and learning in any obstacle. The Master Keys is so much more than becoming a successful person; it is the path to self-awareness and ultimate harmony with in. I do not like being sick, but am thankful for the insights it has provided. I am also thankful for having such a loving and caring family and even found joy in their concern and taking care of me.