There was something else in our last conversation that lingered with me. She emphasized that she was coming the day before my birthday like that was intentional. She’s never really done much for my birthday since I was 16, especially not since I’ve been older. As I let this thought resonate a bit more, I realized that I had not planned anything for my birthday. Not that I normally would, but the kids like to celebrate it. I was planning on making cupcakes with them and calling it good. The last six of my birthdays have been a blur with the craziness of having kids and all the other Birthday’s to make special. My husband has done a good job at getting me some awesome gifts along the way too, but all in all the day has been more of a check off the to do list than an actual celebration.
When my mom got back, she asked what I was doing for my birthday. When I told her my simple plans, she sounded disappointed. She emphasized that my birthday wasn’t about just me. Ha! No kidding. That’s my mom the “Rooster” in the Chinese Zodiac. She always liked a grand celebration. I don’t know if she heard the defeat in my voice or what, but yeah. I was tired, bloody and bruised from my month long Murphy experience and I just wanted to go outside and soak up the sun. Seriously, it’s never been this warm and sunny in February in Michigan and I was due for a major recharge. I didn’t feel like doing anything but center.
She asked me what kind of cake I liked. I told her not to make a fuss and reminded her that I didn’t eat much cake and that I was going to make cupcakes with the kids, even though I really didn’t feel like making cupcakes at all. She again sounded disappointed. Here she was, trying to make an effort and I was stuck in don’t bother for me mode. Why wouldn’t I let her help or be involved?
She was right. Our birthdays were not always about us; and this time it was about her. It was about her making an effort and showing that she cared. It was about her getting the kids involved in making my birthday a celebration that ended up being so much more for me. It was about her giving the kids an experience and setting the example of how to celebrate the ones we love.
She took the kids the morning of my birthday. I still hadn’t made those cupcakes, but eh whatever, by this time, I could sense her determination and decided to let her do her thing. I enjoyed the day to myself, but also admit that I missed the kids 20 minutes after they were gone. I did everything I had wanted to get done in the shed and even got out and set up a hammock where I laid in the sun for a while. My husband, who was abnormally bummed he couldn’t come to my mom’s house, had left to go get Zack, who was at his Mother’s. It was now time for me to go pick up the kids and see what they and my mom had come up with.
When I got there, I knew something was up with the amount of cars in the driveway. I was greeted at the door with smiles and excitement from my sister and my kids. I rounded the corner and walked into the kitchen to find my Grand Parents, Aunt, Dad and Step-Mom all there to celebrate my birthday. Lily picked out a big cake with purple and pink frosting flowers at the store and matching plates, while Jackson chose what the cake would say. “Happy Birthday Kajean” “Because that’s Mommy’s real name,” chimed in Lily.
Gratitude filled my heart as I was beyond touched at the display of love and kindness in the room; especially from my mom. She really did make my day special by giving me that little party. It restored so much with in me and it made my heart sing to see how excited the kids were to participate in it all. They do love a good party. It was like a dream or an old childhood memory relived in present time, and everything I would have hoped my adult life to be as a child. I felt important, accepted and loved by everyone and realize that that love has always been there. All this time it was I that was stuck in a rut. Thanks mom for helping me to remember the importance to celebrate life and that we are always teaching as well as learning.
I have so much to write about and be thankful for as my life bursts into abundance from all directions. I’m so very thankful for the tools I have learned through out this course. Now I have planted my seed and watching it grow. I’ve always had a green thumb… 😉